I follow Dr. Cloud’s instagram account, and one post from last week stood out to me:
I don’t like to think of myself as someone who takes on the victim mentality, but I totally do. I’m a very responsible person when it comes to areas of life that play to my strengths and fall into place easily for me. But if I have to work hard for something I want, then I’m very likely to shirk responsibility. Before I became pro-active dating Laura, I spent a lot of time thinking I was patiently waiting on God to provide a husband for me. My intentions were good and God honoring. But in reality, I didn’t want to do the work required to be in a relationship and get married. I expected God to just make it happen, and when he didn’t do that, I was angry at him. I blamed him for my lack of a relationship.
Currently, there are a couple of things I want that I don’t actually want to work for. I’d like to post to this blog more often. This would require me to write more. I’d like to lose 15 pounds so I’d be back at a weight where I feel more comfortable in my own skin. It would be great if that could happen without needing to exercise or pay attention to what I’m eating. A girl can dream, right?
I don’t have magic plans on how to actually move toward those desires right now. But I am trying to heed Dr. Cloud’s advice and pay attention to what I want, own my desires, and step into curiosity about how I can make some change happen.
Do you struggle to take responsibility for things you really want?