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I’m guessing that normal people simply let their

I’m guessing that normal people simply let their kids enjoy a classic Christmas movie. Meanwhile, I’m over here explaining to my six-year-old 😂 that Betty is really upset because of a major misunderstanding and Bob’s confused because he has no idea what he did wrong, and what she should really do is explain how she’s feeling and ask for clarification, but instead she throws an immature, silent hissy fit and moves to New York, thus cutting off their dating relationship before it could even really get started. 😬😂 Yes, it’s one of my favorite movies because of the singing and dancing, the sisters 👯‍♀️, the snow ❄️, and the chance to point out unhealthy relational dynamics.🎄I’m really fun to watch movies with. 😂

I received this question today and thought it migh

I received this question today and thought it might be helpful to chat about here:

“I'm wondering if you have any advice about dealing with the emotional exhaustion of the online process. It reminds me of when I moved back to the States after living overseas where I largely shopped in tiny shops, and walking into a Walmart was massive information overload!

I think what I'm asking is: how can you keep from being so exhausted by saying no that you have zero energy for having conversation with the potential yeses?”

I think it’s a great idea to consider how to wisely spend your emotional energy. And she’s right about how draining it can be to process all the no’s online. Here are some practical tips that might help:

Be clear in your own mind that saying a quick and simple no is actually a kindness to the guy- you’re freeing him up to go meet a yes for him!

Remind yourself that he says no to other women as well.

In other words, don’t give saying no too much power. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Choose how long you want to spend on a dating app each day and stick to it! Set a timer even.

Keep a note in your phone with answers to common questions so you can copy and paste in those early messages. Why not be efficient with these things?

Take intentional breaks from online dating. That may mean choosing a day each week to remove the app from your phone or skip it for a whole week or month.

What else can we add to this list? How do you pace yourself to avoid dating app burnout?

Years before I met Trav, two friends of mine rando

Years before I met Trav, two friends of mine randomly mentioned that a guy friend of theirs had come over to put up Christmas lights for them. I thought to myself, “Well, that’s so nice! Someone should marry that guy!” I wasn’t quite far enough into my matchmaking ways to realize I should have asked about a set up so I could meet Mr. Christmas Lights. 😂 The Lord kindly worked out a different way for us to meet a while later. Now every year when Trav is putting Christmas lights on our house, I smile and remember how I liked him before I even knew who he was.

The good men aren’t all hiding out in a Magical Good Guy Spot somewhere. They’re actually just in all the normal places, working hard, quietly helping the people around them, and living life. You know, a lot like what you’re doing.

May the Lord give you eyes and ears that notice those “Christmas lights guys” and the courage to ask to meet them! 😊

... is for you to approach singleness and dating w

... is for you to approach singleness and dating with a hopeful mindset. Yes, that’s right- I hope for hope!

Living with hope is possible for every Christian because of the beautiful truth of the Gospel. Our deepest needs have been met in Christ! But what does hopefulness look like day to day when you’re single and desiring marriage?

It prays boldly because God is our kind and wise Father who sometimes says yes and other times says no, all for His glory and our good.

Hope allows you to notice and be thankful for the joys and benefits of being single.

It gives you freedom to grieve the difficult parts of singleness and dating.

Hope helps you grow in discernment so you can decide how, when, and who to date.

It makes you aware of tools available for healthy dating.

And finally, a hopeful mindset leads to healthy dates, relationships, and marriages. It really does!

These are all of the things I pray for each of you and what I want my writing to move you towards. It will be some hard, but fruitful work! “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope {even in your dating life!}” Romans 15:13

Hi friends! 👋🏻 I’ve been working out how t

Hi friends! 👋🏻 I’ve been working out how to start sharing here again, after taking a break to welcome a new baby into our family. Daily life with three little kids is busy-busy (busy!), but writing and coaching helps me enjoy the crazy! So, as the ever wise writing coach @annkroeker suggested recently- I’m going back to the basics. I’m considering who I’m writing for (that would be you!) and focusing in on how to serve you well.

As I considered what to post about in the coming days, I wondered if you might find it helpful to go back to some dating basics. In this season when the whole world is working out what the new normal is, I'm guessing you may not know what to do with your desire for marriage. Maybe dating feels rather hopeless and confusing.

Let’s go back to the basics and remember that there’s always something you can do to move forward. Let’s remember that we are loved by a kind and wise God who is very much at work in the world and in your circumstances. Let’s remember that God answers prayer and delights to provide for our needs.

You don't have to be embarrassed about your dating life or the fact that you need to start again. Dating is not a linear process that always leads to an obvious next step. It’s good to expect the twists, turns, and moments when you feel like you’re right back where you started. That’s all a part of the process.
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Comment below or send me a message if you have specific questions or topics you’d like to me cover!

There’s a new guy in town I want to introduce yo

There’s a new guy in town I want to introduce you to... This is Wesley Bernard Austin, born Sunday, June 7th, at 5:59 pm. 8 pounds, 14 ounces, and 20.5 inches long. Mama and baby are recovering well!

We’ll call him Wes, and Bernard is after Laura’s grandpa- we pray that Wes will emulate his great-grandpa’s Godly faithfulness and quiet strength of character.

This is, indeed, a unique time to bring a baby into the world. However, we trust the wisdom of Jesus in all things, and concur with this thoughtful birthday liturgy written by Douglas Kaine McKelvey in Every Moment Holy:

How marvelous it is, O Lord, that you contemplated each of us before we were made!

How marvelous that you considered and created us, decreeing the very time and place that each of us should enter the world, to live out our own part of your grand story.

And so we celebrate today the first appearance of Wesley Bernard Austin in the epic tale of redemption.
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This sweet boy’s life is a reminder to us of Psalm 27:13- that we can be certain we will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living. May your heart be encouraged as you praise God with us today for this kind gift!

Rinse and repeat with this one. Get on back to thi

Rinse and repeat with this one. Get on back to this rest, dear heart. He is more kind and good than we can fully understand.

Hi, team. Hi. 👋🏻 Just over here waiting on a

Hi, team. Hi. 👋🏻 Just over here waiting on a baby. Sooooo many contractions, but only a little bit of progress toward actually delivering this babe. This morning it seemed likely that we’d be headed to the hospital sometime today. And then the labor just stopped. Again. 🤪 This is normal for me, but nevertheless drives me a little bonkers. It could be tonight or in three weeks!

Anyhoo, I’m trying to pay close attention to my mental game and take one day at a time. Gotta pace myself. Today, that looked like lots of resting, watching Fixer Upper, and coloring with my daughter. And that’s a pretty lovely day if you think about it.

Between the end of this pregnancy and all things Covid-19, I’ve been drawing quite a blank as far as how to write about dating these days. But I am wondering if how I’m looking ahead might be helpful for you as you desire to move toward marriage.

Your dating life is a marathon, not a sprint. What do you have control over today? Can you do something that brings you joy? Can you pray for wisdom? Can you talk to the Lord and close friends about how you’re doing? Can you rein in your thoughts to focus on this coming week rather than despairing about too far down the road?

It helps me to think of others when I’m in this baby waiting game, so know that I’m praying for you. 😊😘

This was a good word for me to read this morning.

This was a good word for me to read this morning. It helped me take a deep breath and smile. Week 6, here we come. He’s got this. 💪🏼🙏🏻🙌🏻

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